I don't know

My head hurts from the screens.

Lightness from DCFC plays softly

I wonder how to tell you I love you. 

I think about the red string of fate.

What everything means.

I have no idea. No perspective. 

I'm just trying. I'm trying to doing my best just to survive. To persevere.

I'm realizing that's one of my greatest strengths. 

Knowing I will be more than this.

Resilience.

That is my greatest strength.

At heart, I don't want to die.

I will do a good job.

I will burn brightly.

That's just who I am. I don't have a choice in the matter.

It's the strangest thing to realize. 

I guess there are some things I really do love about myself. 

Today was easier than the others.

I had a job interview. 

I got a coffee which was good and some McDonald's 

I've been on and off I'll all day

I got a text back tonight 

And he's going on the cruise tomorrow and I judt.

Each message hurts. 

Painful. 

Very painful.

I don't know what to say.

I'm running out of words.

I just don't know.

I don't know.

It hurts. But it also doesn't. 

I don't know.