Is such a strange thing
To crave and be disgusted by sex in equal measure
In the mess of hands and mouths and touching
To find both torment and pleasure in climax
Disgust and horror / hunger and relish
Afterwards
I could feel the animal shape of my body
Its own organism
And I was repulsed
Loathing the sexuality of it. The animalistic drives.
Mentally barren and removed from the idea.
I want to escape this human skin.
Being trapped in this ghastly form that has these desires is torture.
Free me from this prison.
This dastardly game that nobody ever wins, least of all my true self.
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